Two Phrases That Drive Me Nuts!

We're going to be receiving orders to move.  This is going to be a very hard move for me personally.  I'll be hearing these two phrases a lot in the near future.  Hopefully we will be receiving official orders soon.  When we do, I can make the real announcement to all of our friends and acquaintances. 

"I could never do that." and "I could never move that much."

I truly hate these phrases.  I realize they're used as a way of showing empathy and trying to connect.  However, these phrases make me feel like I am on a sort of pedestal.  A pedestal that they feel is somehow reserved for someone stronger than them, or someone foolish enough to live it. My reply is generally along the lines of "It's not easy but you do what you need to." 

This lifestyle isn't something I really married into.  My husband was a reservist at the time and had a full time job.  I knew that he went to drill on weekends and to trainings sometimes during the month.  I knew that deployment was a possibility.  We got married and intended to put down roots and stay in our cozy little community in the eastern panhandle of West Virginia.  However, when the stress, anxiety and depression caused by his job became overwhelming, we made the decision for him to become an active duty soldier. Because of the type of job he has, we've only spent 350 days on a military post, the rest of the time has been "on the economy".  That means that instead of being surrounded by military families that have similar experiences, we are surrounded by civilians that don't always "get it".

I didn't grow up dreaming of moving my children in December every few years.  The army chooses when and where we go, it's not my choice.  I choose to be a stay at home mom and support my husband in a career in which he excels and one he gets incredible job satisfaction from. 

I grew up near an Air Force Base, and had some dreams of moving around when I was in high school. I lived in the same house for 18 years.  But, after 6 years at 3 different colleges, I was more than happy to settle down to raise our daughter with roots that were deep and wide. 

My daughters are getting a much different upbringing than what we had envisioned. They are becoming resilient.  Resilient is a BIG catchword in the Army.  There's actually "Resiliency Training".  My girls are learning about different people, different places and how to step out of their comfort zones much earlier in their lives and with much more ease than many adults I've met.

Moving isn't easy.  Moving isn't particularly fun.  Not moving isn't an option.  I love my husband.  I love my little family. I would not choose to keep us apart just to not have to move.  "Wither thou goest, I will go.  Where thou stayest, I will stay..." Ruth 1:16 

What I really want to say is that if you love your family and your husband you will do what is best for both of them, easy or not.  You will find strength where you didn't know you could find it.  You suck it up, pack the Christmas tree, decorations and the elf on the shelf.  You make sure the elf appears in a different spot in all the hotels you stay in along the way, to reassure your girls that Santa will be able to find them at their new house.  You make sure the first thing in the house is the tree and that it's decorated, often before another stick of furniture arrives.  No matter how attached you are to your current local friends or geographic location you go and do because that's part of loving your family. 

 

In 2009, we spent the months of November and December in a hotel, part of the rooms décor was a tree, so we decorated it.  Fortunately we were able to go to my moms for Christmas eve and day.

We decorated the window too!

"Do not fear . . . you are Mine!"

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God." Isaiah 43:1b-3a


Wow - these verses say alot! 

Our house on the day we arrived in December 2010.  We had
to shovel so we could get in the door.

As a military family we spend a lot of time getting pulled up by our roots and re-planted elsewhere. 

It can be difficult and overwhelming.   Grieving the friendships you leave behind, knowing that there will be more where you're going to and to find the strength to unpack not only your household goods but open your heart to people and new experiences in your new "hometown". 


We are not what people think of when they think of a "traditional" military family.  Since 2003 we've only lived on an Army post for 1 year.  My husband is active duty, but stationed at reserve centers.  We live amongst civilians - most of whom have no real experience with a military lifestyle. 


I do my best to bloom where I'm planted.  I love that God has called me by name.  He'll be with me no matter where we go.  Even when in the midst of finding my place in a new hometown, He has a plan for my life.  I'll not drown in the sorrow of leaving friends or be overcome in the tides of boxes to open, empty and put away.  I'll not be scorched by the walking into a room of new women who've know each other for years, or have grown up with similar experiences.  The flames of difficult times and experiences won't burn me.  He's always there to protect me.


I've been told over and over "I don't know how you do it."  Yes, I think sometimes it would be much easier to have long deep roots that only occur by staying in one spot for a lifetime.  However, I can't imagine living life any differently.  I have so many more friends than I would have had if we hadn't gone full time into the Army.  I have been able to experience living in a few different places.  My daughters will have much more exposure to different people, states, cultures and attitudes than I ever did.  They will be developing resiliency.  The ability to go with the flow and make the best of whatever situation we land in.  For my oldest it's included 3 schools in 3 years moving at Christmastime.  I went to the same schools all my life - I can't imagine having to make new friends in a new environment like that over and over, but Bug is really good at it.  Baby Pie was only 6 weeks old when we got here, so she hasn't had to deal with the social aspect yet, but by the time we'll be moving again (probably next summer) she'll know things have changed.


"Do not fear. . . I have called you by name, you are Mine!"


Thank you Lord for calling me and insuring I am Yours!